How the love of my life and I struggle to keep our love strong

Saturday, July 23, 2011

On virginity

Hello, friends!

Related to the last post, where I talked about my girlfriend's religion, I want to mention something else that is very important for a couple.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we plan to be together for the rest of our lives. The idea is to get married in about 4 years. Unfortunately for us (yes, for her too), she wants to remain a virgin until we're married because that's what the Bible mandates (or she thinks that the Bible mandates).

The Bible verse used to support that idea is Hebrews 13:4 which says: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.". I think that verse is very ambiguous, but to her it's clear that we are not to engage in sexual activities until we marry.

I said unfortunately for her too because she obviously would like to have sex with me and the only thing stopping her is the Bible. I respect this, even though it's very frustrating for both of us, and I don't push her to do anything (that wouldn't be a nice thing to do).

Dear followers, have you ever been in a situation like this? Would you accept it if you were in my position or no sex is a deal-breaker for you? Let me know in the comments!


  1. Ugh, again. The quotation is from the New International Version.

  2. If you really love her, then it will still be hard, but the wait will be worth it!

  3. Duuuude, didn't I bring that up in my xbawks hueg-assed reply on your last post?

    There are ways and there are ways, it always (and I do mean ALWAYS) comes down to self-control and discipline.

    Seriously, there is no such thing as "an accident," or "miscommunication" - you can only lose your virginity once, despite what those surgeons in Tokyo say.

    Internet Catc hof the Day put it best: if she truly wants to wait 'til marraige and you truly love her, y'all are gonna wait 'til marraige.

    Now there's plenty of ways AROUND the whole "no penono in the vajayjay," and yer gonna hafta figure that out on your own. I feel for ya if it's an absolute nothing-sexual-at-all between y'all, but that's the part of it that's completely between you two.

    Remember, a gentleman never tells, y'knwowhatImean?

    Still, if >I< can do it you can do it, and hey - we've got the same score thus far, yah? 3 years. 3...long...years...

    If it wasn't for love, I'd be a manslut right now.

  4. Damn, i'd have sex anyway... I think the bible and most religions only limits us. We shoud do whatever we'd like and need to do.

  5. That's a very frustrating situation.

  6. My girl is agnostic.
    Feels good, man.

  7. Exactly what you said, sir, that verse is VERY ambiguous.

  8. Mate, nowadays in some part of the World and in some people religions wield a huge influence. Forcing her to have sex, as you said, isn't nice, but you can still tell to her that Bible was made by human and we certainly know that human commit mistake. The Holy Bible is 2000 yo and maybe now if we start to think and know that necessary repressing isn't healthy for the body and the mind, maybe many people will change their mind about sex. Sex is the last and the most beautiful expression of what love is. Wish you good luck :)

  9. I really feel you, mate. Sex to me is an expression of love and intimacy. Intimacy is what I'm looking for, and if someone withholds it, I am out. She seems very religious, and she's obviously putting religion before your relationship. But she wants to get into heaven or whatever. I just couldn't do it. Best of luck to you guys.

  10. That's a tough one. I am a Christian, but I don't believe sex before marriage is necessarily wrong. I did date a couple of men who wanted to remain virgins until they were married and it was difficult. I respected their wishes. I would say if you know you are going to get married, I'd stick it out. I know it's hard, but you do have an end goal in mind, it sounds like. It will be worth the wait.

  11. You are created in the image of god. God is everything. That is because God = being. And everything that ís.. ís. You are a part of being, and thus a part of everything. (Read it a few times if you don't completely get it in one go.)

    Living the way Jesus teaches, in a state of enlightenment, that is love. Loving yourself (no lust, not feeling the need for something outside of yourself in order to feel whole/ or to feel lucky).

    Lust can be drugs (we all know). It can be alcohol, it cán be sex and it can also be 'love'.

    A lot of people can easily see that drugs is a lust. It only creates a temporary 'good feeling'. The same for alcohol, for materialism (I need this new car! I need $$$, that will make me happy). But fewer make that link to 'love'.

    Alcohol didn't make me happy, cars, money, career. It all didn't make me happy, so what is left? A wife and family, that must me the answer.

    I think over 80% of the people in western countries marry and die like that.
    And god forgives them, because they didn't know any better. And god is everything, so we forgive them too, because we too are god.

    So what will bring you to heaven?

    The person who married the girl, fucked her on the wedding night and spend his whole life arguing and fighting her because eventually she didn't make him happy..?

    The person who at age 15 thought he and his girlfriend would be together forever had sex with her. Grew apart and left each other before they ever married?

    Both didn't live enlightened, both had a false idea of 'love'. Who gets in heaven, who doesn't?

    I think they both do. Because at the time they didn't knew any better, they didn't had bad intentions and god will forgive them.

    Can one live 'sinful' and keep virginity until marriage? Yes
    Can one live unknowingly, unenlightened and marry? Yes
    Can one live enlightened and love and share love but not marry? I do believe so.

    Love is not an emotional experience you need to gain from somebody else, love is the reality you need to find inside of yourself to share with somebody else. The binding isn't to be seen as love, the binding is to be seen as the way love expresses itself.

    One: love yourself. You are a image of god, a part of everything and so, if you truly love yourself you love everything and everyone. Now share that love with someone else, someone who also loves herself, fully.
    And that completes the circle of life, because you don't need another person to love, but life does need another person to sustain itself.
    By loving, sharing your love with someone else, who you feel related to, attracted to etc. and complete that love in bed by 'making love' you live, fully. Because that is life.

  12. dude just go to her and say these words:

    "i wanna be on you"

    then boom, before you know it, you're on her

    having sexy time

  13. Tokker@MirrorG is the first religious wingman