Hello, friends!
Today I want to talk about a delicate issue. As I mentioned before, my girlfriend is Christian and I'm not. I used to be an evangelical atheist but that has changed over time and now I'm agnostic. I really don't understand why she believes what she believes, but I respect it so it's not a problem for me. On the other hand, she thinks that believers and unbelievers shouldn't marry. She bases that belief on 2 Corinthians 6:14 which says: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?". She believes that the Bible should be taken literally and she thinks that that verse talks against interfaith marriages. But, even though she thinks she's going against what the Bible says, she loves me and she wants to marry me some day. Her family and friends are not that understanding, but we haven't had much trouble on that front.
Unfortunately, my girlfriend also thinks that unless I embrace Jesus as my lord and savior I'll go to hell. The idea of not sharing heaven with me makes her sad, but there isn't really much I can do about it. I quoted 1 Corinthians 7:14 to her, which says: "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy". She considers that that verse talks about couples that married as unbelievers and then either the husband or the wife embraced Jesus.
I'll be talking a lot more about religion in the following posts, but I'd like to know if you ever dated somebody of a different religion (or religious, if you're agnostic / atheist / humanist / naturalist). If you did, did it work out? Would you date somebody that has a different faith from yours? Let me know your answers in the comments!
I forgot to point out that the verses are from NIV. Sadly, the word of the Lord is copyrighted and they only allow quotations with attribution.
ReplyDeletePeople should not be part away by religion.
ReplyDeleteI am a agnostic theist, I believe in God, but accept the fact that I could be wrong, and my girlfriend is an atheist. Doesn't bother me a bit, and we're not having children so it's not going to affect anyone else.
ReplyDeleteCharles, I'm going to do something I've never done before responding to your blog.
ReplyDeleteSo please, permit me this ill humor:
BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHHAHAH! AAHAHAHA, BWABWABWABWA...
::takes a moment to breathe, looks at you::
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHDFSSLKJLDKFAHAGJAFARGLE OH GOD I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T BREATHE...
okay...okay. That's better.
SO...sosososososo. It is really, REALLY freaky how alike you and I appear to be. I myself was raised staunchly black Baptist (OH HELLS YEAH SON HALLELUJAH GOD NEEDS MORE BARBECUE IN THIS MUTHA!!!), and as I grew up and read the Bible and more theistic books on my own, as well as studying history and such on my own time, I grew to have an almost extreme hatred for the machinations of the Catholic Church and, well...churches and top-brass priesthood in general.
I have no trouble with the idea of God in and of Itself and, indeed, even hope that such a thing exists if for no other reason than that I'm too goddamned egotistical to think that there ISN'T an afterlife, or that we as individuals simply spin off into nothingness.
Even the idea of Reincarnation and karm appeals to be better than the simple act of the Void.
No, I have my beliefs (mainly in the obvious evidence that the Bible, and indeed every single religious doctrine, has been tampered with for the benefits of a few all-too-mortal men) and they balance in a way with my fiancee's personal beliefs as well...despite the fact that she, much like your chica, is a Christian.
Now, thankfully she's not the type who believes that every word in the bible is the Word of God...she's simply experienced too much and has seen too many unanswered questions to believe like that. But she IS baptized, she WILL defend her religion should someone get her hackles up and the way we balance out each other's beliefs?
By respecting them, and the right to believe as we see fit. We also have a strong agreement with one another that when we have kids we'll both have a chance to present our beliefs to them and let them choose as they see fit.
She'll teach 'em from the Bible, and I'll teach 'em the way my parents taught me: read, discover, learn on your own THEN make a decision.
But to never hold it against one another, that's the thing. She's not such an extremist that she's all "DEATH TO ANYONE WHO INSULTS CHRISTIANITY!" which is a godsend to me since I'm such a foul-mouthed megaphone of a jerkass.
But we do not directly challenge one another when it comes to religion. If a theistic conversation comes up then we'll talk it over, presenting our ideas to one another civilly while respecting the others' viewpoints.
Now, I believe in the power of love more than even faith. If Heaven and Hell exists, and if I end up in Hell while she gets into Heaven then it's simply up to me to do what I must to fight my way to her side. Sounds presumptious, but so does the idea that another human being can tell me what happens in the aterlife...
Gah, I can go into a whole novella on this subject, but there you have it. We love each other, and that's all that matters to me (no pun intended) religion be damned. It's worked out for three years to the point where I have't even thought about it 'til brought it up right now.
Beh, keyboard...failing...
The religion thing has never been an issue, i never really cared for religion but iv had many religious girlfriends, the only time it gets annoying is when they decide to try and convert you, but most of them are respectful and dont bring up the topic!
ReplyDeleteIf I learned something in school (a religious one), is that Christian girls love atheist/agnostic boys.
ReplyDeleteReligion is always a rough subject. I live in the US, in the South (AKA the Bible Belt). My fiance and I are both unsure about what we believe. We were both raised in religious families and now have stepped away from religion and live day to day by what our hearts and souls tell us is right and wrong. Sometimes I can see how and why those around us believe the way they do, but most of the time its hard for me to believe something that has so many contradictions. I could post a long comment about it, but I'm sure you understand. Hopefully things will work out.
ReplyDeleteI think people think they can get past religion and they in the short term but if the relationship deepens and becomes marriage than it is an issue that in all probability cannot be avoided because of kids. What religion will their parents choose for them.
ReplyDeleteI dated a Catholic girl once, and aside from being super against sex offenders against kids, she was very normal. People can get past religion as long as they aren't totally exclusive in terms of beliefs and stuff. It's too bad your girlfriend thinks you're going to hell unless you believe in God. My mom told me the same thing. Scare tactics probably got to her. I think god loves everyone.
ReplyDeleteAs an atheist I feel like it will be important in any serious relationship(kids)...being in North Dakota wherte 95% is christian really slims the field down...
ReplyDeleteAlso though you weren't an "evangelical atheist" and you aren't a agnostic now...
ReplyDeleteEither you believe in a god or you lack a belief in gods...atheist or a theist... Gnosticism is a different subject.
She seems very inflexible towards that kind of things. It is a problematic relationship for sure. I will give you this one though, there is nothing wrong with mixed marriages. My father is jew, my mother is catholic, they go along just fine, never was an issue, not even raising me or my brother. We were given freedom to choose whatever the heck we liked.
ReplyDeleteGo for it it, dont let those things deterr you.
I'm deist and i was baptized as a Catholic, so i belive in a god but also i have my own theories. I don't think religion should be a problem in a relationship, anyway both of you should be respectful to each other beliefs.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much fall under agnostic (I think). I don't actively believe in God, but accept that I could be wrong. Up until I was 15 I was Catholic. I haven't dated anyone of a different religion, but I'm a very tolerant person, so I don't think it would affect things too badly.
ReplyDelete