How the love of my life and I struggle to keep our love strong

Showing posts with label long distance relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label long distance relationship. Show all posts

Friday, June 15, 2012

So near, so far

Hello, friends!

Still not back to a normal schedule, but here's a new update.

I was talking to a coworker the other day and he was telling me about something I had never thought about. This guy is from India and there's a girl he knows that he really likes; he also told me that she really likes him back. Everything would be perfect for them... except that since they are from different castes they'll never be able to be together.

Now, I don't know exactly how the caste system works, but it made me sad knowing that these two people really loved each other and there was something stopping them from being together. I know my girlfriend is really far away, but one day we'll be together and we'll stay together forever. This guy, my coworker, gets to see the girl he likes all the time knowing that it's an impossible thing.

I don't know if he could elope with her or something, I wasn't sure if it was polite to ask, but I sincerely hope that love prevails.

Do you know of other cases of impossible love? I'd be particularly interested to see comments of situations like this that actually had a happy ending.

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Return of the Blog

Hello, friends!

It has been a long time since my last post, this is in fact my first post of 2012... I feel bad that I let so much time go by without making a post, but my job kept me very occupy (I'm working a lot of overtime). Fortunately, that changed today, and I'll be working a saner shift.

I'm still long-distance-dating my girlfriend, we still love each other very much and, hopefully, we'll be able to see each other before the end of the year.

Other than that, I plan to update more often than once every 4 months...

ps: thank you to all those that read my blog even though I haven't posted in so long. I hope you'll comment like you used to and that you'll forgive my absence.

Monday, October 31, 2011

It just doesn't work

Hello, friends!

It just occurred to me that a lot of things have changed in just a few years. When I was growing up if we wanted to communicate with my aunt that lives in a different city, we had to talk fast on the phone, because long distance was very expensive. If we wanted to communicate something longer we'd have to write a letter, because it was impossible to afford a talk of more than 20 minutes. Letters took forever to arrive (that hasn't changed).
There were no fax machines, no internet (for the most part), no cellphones, no SMSs. Only rich people had computers.

Today we have email, Twitter, Facebook, Skype, webcams, netbooks, laptops, tablets, smartphones... We can contact anybody anywhere in the world. For those that don't have computers or internet connection there are internet cafés. Long distance calls are quite cheap nowadays. Buying things online from China and getting them shipped home is not something out of the ordinary.

So we grew a lot closer as a world, but whenever somebody mentions they are in a long distance relationship the default answer is "it just doesn't work".

Lack of physical contact is annoying and it makes things more difficult, but isn't it time to revise that answer and adapt it to modern times? Long distance relationships were obviously a lot more difficult to keep not many years ago.

I communicate with my girlfriend pretty much every day now. We listen to each other's voice and we can record videos or take as many pictures as we want, in high definition. Long distance relationships are not what they used to.

So, I think that whenever you find someone that's in a long distance relationship, before giving the default answer of "it just doesn't work", be happy that they have someone that cares for them and that loves them. Some of them do work and technology helps a lot with that!

Friday, October 28, 2011

LDR in the media

Hello, friends!

I just watched the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory (season 5, episode 7: The Good Guy Fluctuation) and I'm really disappointed. If you haven't watched the episode you might be wondering what it has to do with long distance relationships... There are some spoilers ahead, so don't read if you don't want to find out what happens.

If you follow the show you already know that Leonard is dating Priya, Raj's sister. You also know that Priya is back in India, hence Priya and Leonard are in a long distance relationship. So now comes the spoiler for the latest episode: Leonard cheats on Priya: he makes out with a girl he met in the comic book shop. What's even worse, he confesses to Priya and she's okay with it, since she also cheated (she slept with an ex-boyfriend).

I know having LDRs that fail is kind of a cliché, but LDRs can work with love and dedication (what couples should have, regardless of the distance). It's sad that the media capitalizes on this. I know it's a funny show and it's not supposed to be taken seriously... but it makes me value what my girlfriend and I have even more.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

In a relationship far far away...

Hello, friends!

It's been a while. I should mention, although it's obvious, that I can't really honor the update schedule I had mentioned. I'll update whenever I can...
If you have a problem with that then talk to my lawyer, haha.  No, I'm actually sorry I can't update more often, but I don't have a lot of free time.

Anyway, here's the update!

My girlfriend and I enjoy reading. We enjoy reading a lot. In fact, when we first started to chat books was the main thing we talked about! One thing about long distance relationships is that we can still enjoy books together. We recommend books to each other and after we have both read them we discuss them. Kind of like a book club, but more personal.

Now, we kind of went beyond that. Since my girlfriend and I really really enjoy the classics, we tend to visit the Gutenberg project a lot. For those that don't know it, the Gutenberg project is a digital library full of books that have entered the public domain. The books are free, which in this case means that you don't need to pay anything and it also means that you can pass the books around, make adaptations, translations, etc. without having to ask for permission. I am not a copyright lawyer, so you'd have to check what the public domain laws are in your jurisdiction.

I also used to visit Librivox. That site has the goal of making voice recordings of classics in the public domain (so it's kind of like an audio Gutenberg project). Librivox gave me the idea of recording short stories for my girlfriend: she can enjoy the stories and listening to my voice at the same time. She also does the same for me now. We also write original short stories for each other sometimes.

Listening to the sweet voice of my girlfriend reading a story for me is something I enjoy very much. If you like reading and you are in a long distance relationship, you should try it.

I'll be mentioning other activities that can be done to make a long distance relationship get a little closer. Things that my girlfriend and I like doing. If you have some activity that you'd like to mention, please do it in the comments.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A bit under the weather

Hello, friends!

I missed a few updates, but I'm going to pretend that nothing happened so I'm quickly changing the subject to...

The weather!

I really like the rain. Today there was a storm where I live and it's funny to see people running away from the water, as if it wasn't raining right in front of them anyway. It's raining behind you, it's raining in front of you, no matter how fast you run you're still going to get wet, haha. Even so, I don't understand why people are so afraid of getting wet, it's just water! It wasn't even cold today! Let me say this: the rain is not going to make you melt...

My girlfriend and I love storms. We like walking under the rain and we love seeing the lightnings in the sky. We like telling each other when it's raining where we live. I even have a weather widget on my computer that's configured with her town on it, so I can know of future rain in advance! It's another way of keeping the long distance relationship a bit closer, knowing what's going on where she lives.

I'm quite certain a lot of people probably think we are crazy because of all this, but I'm sure we're not alone and that more people love the rain just as much as we do, right?

Do you enjoy the rain or do you escape from it like a kitty? If you're a rain lover like my girlfriend and I, let me know! If you think that what we do is crazy, I'd also like to know.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

No shoes, no flying partner, no service

Hello, friends!

I missed my Monday update, but I was kind of busy having a bit of a discussion with my girlfriend. So I'd like to know what you guys think.

I mentioned before that it might be possible for her to visit within the next 6 months or so. I would be paying for her flight tickets and her stay here (food, transportation, etc). There's a small issue, though: she's scared of airports. Apparently they are big and confusing and she won't fly unless she finds somebody to come with her (airports are automatically safer if somebody is with her). She has mentioned before that she didn't like airports, but I thought that the happiness of visiting me would be greater than her fear; that doesn't seem to be the case. The bad thing is that nobody appears to be interested in spending money on visiting a south American country with her...

Should I be more understanding or does it make sense that I'm disappointed? I love her and I want to see her soon and it makes me a bit mad that the opportunity to see each other is missed over this.

Please, leave comments telling me what you think about this. I really want to know what your thoughts are. Thank you!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Super happy

Hello, friends!

It's going to be a short post, but I'd like to share two things with you.

The first one is that today I got my first paycheck at my new job. It's only for half a month, so it's not a lot, but it's exactly what I was making at my previous job, haha. I have mentioned before that I'm making double and I wasn't kidding. Even though I won't be able to visit my girlfriend for a while longer, I'm happy I made the switch because then I'll have more money for us when I finally visit... or when she visits!

That's right! She might be visiting at the beginning of next year! That's the other thing I wanted to share. I'm very excited about it, even though it's not 100% certain yet. She might start taking some classes at college, but since she does want to visit she thinks she should enroll at an online college so it wouldn't matter where she is.

Well, that's it for now. I'd like to proudly point out that I actually updated this blog when I said I would. I'm going to get myself a shiny gold star, hehe.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Prepare for rant

Hello, friends!

I said I was thinking of updating Mon-Wed-Fri and that didn't happen. I decided that I will definitely update Mon-Wed-Fri... that will keep me from neglecting this blog.

The fact is that even though I wanted to post something, I still remain quite tired. The fact that I'm posting this exactly because I'm tired is ironic but it does make sense. You see, I'm writing this post to rant a bit.

An Earth day lasts 24 hours. Of those 24 hours I spend roughly 8 still (or should, it's usually less, because of the reason I'm going to explain in the next few lines). That leaves 16 hours. Of those 16 hours I spend 9 at work: the work shifts here are 8 hours long, but that doesn't include a mandatory unpaid lunch break that lasts 1 hour. Well, actually, it's not mandatory,  you can keep working for that hour if you want... you still have to stay 9 hours, though. So while in other countries the norm for work is 9 to 5, here it's 9 to 6. 

So 16 minus 9 is 7 hours. Now, since everybody works 9 to 6, when I take the bus to go to the office and when I take the bus to come back home the traffic is a mess. There are traffic jams everywhere. Commuting steals 2 hours more of my day. Yes, 2 hours... I wish I were exagerating, but I'm not. The same trip out of rush hour can take half the time.

All in all, work consumes 11 hours of my days. That's almost half a day, which sounds quite bleak. That means I have about 5 hours for myself, right? Wrong, because after I wake up in the morning I have breakfast and I take a shower; if I hurry that takes 30 to 40 minutes. 4 hours 20 for myself then?

Sure...                                

Of those 4 hours and 20 minutes I alot about 1 hour to have dinner with my family. I mean, I'm not at home for most of the day, I like knowing what my family is up to and share some time with them. It's not fair that I spend more time at work than with those I love... And talking about the ones I love, I barely get to chat for an hour with my beautiful girlfriend, and that's only if I steal some time from my sleep. You see, 3 hours and a half are not enough to catch up with my social life, chat with my girlfriend, and maybe read a chapter of a book or watch an episode of a series.                                                   

All things considered, I'm lucky I'm not the one that cooks and shops for groceries at home, because then I wouldn't have time for anything.

Am I complaining without reason or does it sound like a fair rant? I mean, those of you who have jobs, do you feel that you're married to your job? If that's the case... don't you feel like filing for a divorce right away?

ps: I really do plan to update Mon-Wed-Fri. I'll do my best effort to make that happen. Let's pretend this is Wednesday's post, okay?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Good news, everyone!


Hello, friends!

This will be a quick update. It's getting late, I'm sleepy and I need to wake up early tomorrow. I just wanted to mention that my girlfriend has internet at home now! We can't really chat a lot because by the time she can get online I need to go to bed already, but something's better than nothing.

We didn't get to chat tonight (she had something to do), but we chatted yesterday and we'll be able to chat every night at least for a bit. We'll probably take advantage of the weekends, since I won't have to wake up mad early for work then.

Anyway, I just wanted to mention that. I'm very happy now! (and sleepy, did I mention that already?). I hope you folks are having a good week. I'll try to update again on Friday (perhaps I should do a Mon-Wed-Fri update schedule from now on...)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I'm like a bicycle...

Hello, friends!

I'm sure everybody knows the punchline to the joke of the title of this post: I'm too/two tired. I've been waking up very early to get to work and I'm not used to it. To top it all, I haven't chatted with my girlfriend in about 8 days so I'm just cranky.

I can't say much about my new job; all I did last week was read legal procedures and security procedures in order to get clearance for the client stuff at some point next week. So the last few days was all about reading 30 or 35 PDFs of an average of 50 pages each, about how to handle the private information of the client and what to do in the event of something going bad. It's all common sense information, but I have to read it, understand it, and then sign a form acknowledging it all.

What keeps me going is that I'm making double the money that I was making at my previous job. My country's currency is worth 4 times less than the US dollar, so I need to work four times harder to make money for my girlfriend's and my future. Just the plane tickets to visit her are more expensive than a month-worth of my salary... I feel like I'm in that episode of The Simpsons where Homer has Maggie's pictures at work covering the sign that says "Don't forget, you're here forever" to say "Do it for her". I know it probably sounds very corny, but my love for her keeps me going and working hard now is going to be totally worth it once we're married and with our very own house.

I'm sorry if this post was kind of a downer; I'll try to update this blog again maybe on Wednesday, no matter how tired I may be, and hopefully I'll be more cheerful. In fact, I think I should start with the cheerful attitude right now: I wish you all a great beginning of week!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Wish me luck!

Hello, friends!

Tomorrow is my first day at work. I'm kind of anxious, since I have no experience in this line of work (it's a technology in particular in the IT field), but they said they'll train me, so I hope everything goes fine.
So... wish me luck, haha! I have to wake up quite early, so that's kind of sucky, but I guess that was to be expected from any job.

On a sad note, I haven't chatted with my girlfriend in quite a while and I miss her a lot. She hasn't been able to get online and now, even if she does get online, she won't find me awake. The time difference plus the waking up early for the new job is going to make quite difficult for us to find the time to chat. I guess we'll go back to a gazillion emails...

Friday, September 9, 2011

Job update

Hello, friends!

I talked to my girlfriend last night and she's a bit sad like I am, but she's proud of me. She says it was the right decision, even though the fact that I can't visit sucks.

Yes, I got the job! Even after arriving 30 minutes late to the interview!

So I don't have many free days left; I start next week and I'm quite anxious about it. I promise I won't neglect this blog too much!

Monday, September 5, 2011

Why don't you get a job?

Hello, friends!

I told you on my last post that I had quit my job. I also told you I was having an interview this week.

So... I went to the interview today. I wasn't confident at all about this job because it's about something I don't have any experience about, but they still wanted to interview me. I was so not confident and I cared so little about this interview that I arrived late. When I say late, I don't mean 5 minutes late... I mean half an hour late!

Once in the interview things went really well, though. It turns out that the team I'd be working for has contacts all over the world and they needed somebody with my previous experience that could also speak many languages (that's me!). They said that they can teach me anything I don't know, so training is not a problem.

Even though I arrived late, I'm quite confident I'm getting this job. I'll keep you updated regarding that!

The bad thing is that I won't be able to visit my beloved girlfriend for another year and a half. I hope she finds the time to visit me before that... The good thing is that if I actually get this job, I'd be making double what I was making at my previous job.

I really miss my girlfriend, but I hope I made the right decision; I need to make money so we can get a place of our own once we marry. I'd really like to go visit her, but I can't spend all the money on plane tickets, right? What do you think?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I quit

Hello, friends!

It's been a while since I updated this blog, so I wanted to leave a few lines.

I've had enough of my job: long hours without any kind of additional retribution, low pay, no possibility of career advancement...

I quit.

By the end of the month I won't be going to the office anymore. I have already started the search for a new job and I have an interview next week (wish me luck!)

Sadly, this means I won't be able to visit my girlfriend soon, but we have been chatting the last few days and she might be able to visit before the end of the year! *crosses fingers*

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Bad day

Hello, friends!

Sorry for not updating for a while, I'll try to be more constant.

The other day my girlfriend got online when I wasn't around and she sent me some pictures and she told me she had had an awful day. Her day had gotten very hectic with some errands she had to run and some people that complicated things (nothing serious now, but she was quite mad at the time). It made me feel awful that I couldn't be there for her when she needed me. Luckily she could get online again that night and we chatted for a bit; I only found out later that she had only gotten 3 hours of sleep. She kept that information from me because she knew that if I had known I would've forced her to go to sleep and she really wanted to chat with me.

It's very frustrating knowing that sometimes she needs me and not being able to be there for her. I really wish we were together already so I could help her when things get bad.

Sorry for the emoish post, but I'm feeling frustrated and I needed to vent a little. I promise a more cheerful post next time and I promise I won't let so many days happen between posts.

Monday, August 15, 2011

On marriage

Hello, friends!

I want to thank all of you for your "get well" wishes! I'm feeling great; the flu never really caught on, but I decided to get lots of rest to help my body.
Also, I realized that in my last post I was celebrating passing the 100 followers mark, but I never thanked each of you for reading what I post. Your comments and support make me come back to post, so thank you!

Going to the topic of this particular post, I wanted to write about the importance of marriage.
Before meeting my girlfriend, I had never put much attention to the ceremony of marriage. I thought it was just singing a piece of paper that's only a legal contract. It doesn't represent love to me, because sometimes people get married without being in love (arranged marriages, political marriages, etc). Some see it as reaching certain maturity in the couple or a requirement for having children; I could agree with those (I wouldn't have wanted children without getting married first, because of the legal benefits of marriage).

Now, my girlfriend sees marriage in a religious way. For her getting married is declaring to God that you'll be spending the rest of your life with a person. For her, marriage is a spiritual thing. Marriage is a bond created by God.

Even though I don't have her religion, I have to admit that her view of marriage sounds very romantic, so I look forward to that at some point in the not so far future.

What's your view on marriage? How important is marriage to you? Does a couple need marriage at some point to make the commitment stronger? Let me know in the comments!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Sickness 101

Hello, friends!

I'm not feeling very well, I think the flu might be trying to take control of my body. My body is offering quite a battle, though.
Nevertheless, I have a headache, neck pain and my stomach is a bit upset. Hopefully I'll feel better soon, but I didn't want to leave this without updates for too long.

On a side note, I've seen many people celebrating their 100 followers. I think that's a celebration of having reached a goal, but I celebrate 101 because that means that I'm not going to settle for 100, haha. That, and I also never noticed when I got follower #100, hahaha.

Anyway, I hope you guys are doing fine. I still have some questions unanswered and I promise to take care of that as soon as possible (as soon as I feel better)!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Answers

Hello, friends!

Sorry for not posting for a couple of days.
My girlfriend hasn't been able to get online again, so I'm kind of "meh"...

I noticed that I left some of the comments' questions unanswered, so I'm going to answer them here. I hope I didn't miss any!


GMSoccerPicks said...
How much is the time difference?

It's 3 hours. It doesn't sound too bad, but she usually can get online at midnight for one or two hours and that means I stay awake till 4am or
5am...


Keine Scheisse said...
Can't you change job once after you've taken your holidays?

Yes, I can, but then that means I won't be visiting her till next year. I can't take my vacations right now.


HK said...
Where exactly are you located ? Universities are free? Im thinking EU

I'm not in the EU. I live in South America.


GMSoccerPicks said...
By the way you say it, it looks like you are like 10 years older than her. Perhaps a bit more.

The age gap is 9 years. She's 18, I'm 27.


Chase said..
Also though you weren't an "evangelical atheist" and you aren't a agnostic now...
Either you believe in a god or you lack a belief in gods...atheist or a theist... Gnosticism is a different subject.


I was using the term in the popular sense, but you're correct.

This is what Wikipedia says about "agnostic"

In the popular sense, an agnostic is someone who neither believes nor disbelieves in God, whereas an atheist disbelieves in God. In the strict sense, however, agnosticism is the view that human reason is incapable of providing sufficient rational grounds to justify knowledge whether God exists or does not. Within agnosticism there are agnostic atheists (who do not believe any deity exists, but do not deny it as a possibility) and agnostic theists (who believe a God exists but do not claim to know that).

I fluctuate between agnostic theist and agnostic atheist now. I used to categorically deny the existence of a deity. 


Neon said...
What movie did you watch?

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.


If you have any more questions that you'd like to get answered, let me know in the comments!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Movie night

Hello, friends!

I was going to post last night, but something came up!
Last night my girlfriend got online for a little bit. She had to wake up early but we watched a movie!
It's a little weird, but she was going to watch a movie and I have the DVD of the same movie so we decided to watch it together. We synced it and we were watching the same parts at the same time.

Then, halfway through the movie, my internet died (gotta love my ISP... not). So I paused the movie for a while, then seeing how my ISP wasn't cooperating I decided to finish watching the movie. Then my internet came back, but my ISP's DNS weren't working, so I had to use public ones, but I managed to get online again.
My girlfriend had also paused the movie after a while, so she was only 5 minutes ahead of me.

We really enjoyed this sort of long distance date and we'll probably do this again at some point, but she's still traveling and doesn't know when she'll be able to get online again. She left right after the movie finished (like I said, she had to wake up early), but not before telling me that she loves me very much :)

If anybody has other ideas for long distance dates, things that would sort of work, like watching the movie, then I'd really appreciate it!